So, when I really think about it, I am totally likable, but I have very few real friends. I’ve convinced myself that this is fairly common among women my age. About a year ago, I heard a speaker who talked about how most of us only have three close friends. The point was that we have our number One (God, or our higher self, or whatever you believe), then our “top three” (the people in your inner circle with whom you allow yourself to be truly, or at least relatively, transparent). I remember being a bit scared because I didn’t have a number One, but we’ll get back to that later. I think the point of the speech then went on to talk about our circles of trust or something; I can’t remember. It’s not important now. What I do remember is that it took me no time at all to identify my three “inner circle” friends, and I was a bit surprised at who they were because they are not the three people that I spend the most time with. In fact, I rarely see each of them, and have separate relationships with all three. Yet each helps to shape, guide, encourage, and empower me. They ask the right questions, and gently help to pull back the layers, shed the excuses, and reveal the true and beautiful self dying to emerge. But perhaps the most precious gift that they give, is a patient space to simply be. They reflect me to myself and remind me that no one can show Me to me but Me.
Holiday (that’s her name)
About three and a half years ago, I re-connected with an old college teammate who has been a huge influence on my journey of growth, self discovery, and self empowerment. Holiday is my “God Squad” (That’s what Jim and I call religious people) friend. I don’t consider myself religious, at least not in the conventional “go to church and believe what they tell you” kind of way, but Holiday has been a major influence on me and knowing that she prays for me brings me great comfort. I would not be sitting here writing, and certainly not committing myself to a year of devoted self love and growth if it were not for Holiday. She is one of the few “religious” people who I’ve encountered who is real, honest, vulnerable, sincere, raw, and unafraid to get angry with God, question everything, but continue to grow in faith and enjoy every step of the bumpy ride. I admire her so much for her unyielding faith and conviction and am truly honored that she is willing to share her journey with me. Holiday and I meet most Saturdays for a 6:30 AM run along the beach at Corona del Mar when we talk about everything from religious philosophy to potty-training. We meet each other right where we are, talk, debate, relate, and never judge. I totally love her! And I know she adores my sweet ass too!
Jamie
Jamie is my bestset bestest friend!!! But she lives in Colorado, so we do most of our connecting over the phone. I love her sarcastic sense of humor and her total acceptance of me and all my weirdness. Jamie and I were also college teammates, but our relationship as friends is unique because our husbands are also BFFs. Jamie and German (her husband) are our only couple friends where Jim and I come into the friendship from the same place. He and German were friends, Jamie and I were friends, and it just worked out that we all married each other. I love my friendship with Jamie because it is so, so real. We know all of each other’s shit… even the really personal and gross stuff (don’t get me started!). I am grateful to have someone in her who loves me, loves Jim, and offers honest and fair advice from a place of non-judgment. I also love that she lives in another state, and that she is a working mom. She offers a perspective outside of my day-to-day world, and often gives me the kick in the ass that I need and deserve. Jamie is the person that I can call to talk to about absolutely anything or absolutely nothing. She accepts me as I am and I love her for it. Plus, she laughs at me and at life. That just might be her best quality.
Angela
Angela is someone who I know from high school. I was a senior when she was a freshman, but we ran cross country together, and I kind of took her under my wing. I love her because she is the best listener I have ever met. She is wise beyond her years and yet completely naive. Angela used to come to me for advice when we were younger, but now we come to each other for a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen. She recently made a huge life decision to quit her comfortable job in the television industry to go back to school and work in her church. It was a huge risk, and a scary move, but I so admire her courage. She was living a stagnant life that was comfortable and predictable. She gave up her security to follow her heart. Angela is soft spoken, timid, but incredibly brave. She inspires me through her example and willingness to continually work on herself. We meet with another friend once a month at Soupplantation and solve all of each other’s problems over soup, salad, and lots of soft serve! We eat the same things in the same order every time, and have been since high school. That is probably not norma
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